Ask a group of
male college students if they believe it is OK to have sex with a woman who is
intoxicated. Many in the room will raise their hand… and maybe giggle a little.
Now ask them to answer the same question anonymously. You may find that the
results of both approaches to the same question bring completely contradicting
results. The truth is that most men would not agree with this statement,
despite what they demonstrated in the larger group. This is an exercise that
comes from the social norming approach to addressing violence against women by
men and is one that sparked an idea for a pilot program on a small New England
college campus.
What men think other men think tends to be one of the strongest
determinants of how men act. The problem is that this perception is a strong
determinant even when it is drastically mistaken. In our research, we wanted to
create a program that followed this social norming philosophy. We set out
asking what it would take to get those men (in the overwhelming majority) who
do not believe in violence or using control over women to feel comfortable in
speaking out against the group. In other words, what would it take for those
college men in that room to ascribe to their own definition of masculinity and
disagree with that statement in public?
Our curriculum titled, One
Man Up, was facilitated over an extended period of time at a small state
university during the 2009-2010 academic year. A group of young men met with us
on campus each week for nine two-hour sessions. The purpose of the program had
been for young men to renegotiate masculinities related to the primary
prevention of interpersonal violence. The program was distinctive in its focus
on the specific challenges and resiliencies of men in predominately non-white,
ethnically diverse, urban communities. In addition to guided discussion, the
program exposed participants to other kinds of social norming activities and
community activism. For example, the participants were asked to wear public
awareness bracelets or pins for an entire week.
To
differentiate ourselves from other so-called ‘anti-violence’ programs, we did
not use guilt when discussing men’s violence against women, nor did we try to
impart more noble or chivalrous masculinity. Instead, we found success in simply
asking participants to define their own masculinity.
The results of
the program are encouraging. Students who completed the multi-session program
1) felt more confident to challenge gender stereotypes and female
objectification within their peer groups, 2) were able to identify healthy
relationships and appropriate sexual interactions and 3) had increased their
self-awareness in regards to the how they ascribe to masculinity. So when these
young men are in a situation where someone is normalizing sexual assault and
their friends are nodding along, maybe giggling to mask their discomfort, they
will most likely be the first ones to demonstrate that this is, in fact, not
normal, nor is it accepted as part of a masculine identity.
The question
remains, however, how many men and women must pull the curtain on this falsely perceived
social norm before we see a substantial decrease and end to violence against
women by men?
We are interested in your thoughts on these issues and our article! You can access it for the next 30 days by clicking HERE.
Kyle and Jessica
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